This movie is the worst movie I remember having seen, ever. I fell asleep during Kill Bill: Volume I and Anastasia, but those were not as bad as Open Water. In fact, the previous "worst movie I've ever seen," which was Bring It On 3: All or Nothing, was not even this bad.
Open Water is based on a true story, that of Tom and Eileen Lonergan, who went on a scuba trip along the Great Barrier Reef and were left behind by the dive boat because a crew member took a faulty head count. Beyond that, the movie is fiction, of course, because we have no idea what happened to the Lonergans - we only know that some of their equipment washed up on beaches after they disappeared.
Open Water is not a horror movie. It is not a psychological drama. It is not about interpersonal relations. It is utterly boring, the acting is wooden, the whole thing is just terrible. Two people trapped in the middle of the ocean could be a really interesting movie, but Open Water is not that movie. The main characters are whiny and annoying and the actors deliver the lines like they're reading the phone book. For some reason there is a sequel being made...I can't imagine how bad that is going to be!
After we watched Open Water, my wife insisted that I had to let her watch something good for the rest of the night. But what turned out to be on TV? Bring It On 3 just happened to be on! So I made her watch that too, and we just had an evening of really bad movies.
Open Water is based on a true story, that of Tom and Eileen Lonergan, who went on a scuba trip along the Great Barrier Reef and were left behind by the dive boat because a crew member took a faulty head count. Beyond that, the movie is fiction, of course, because we have no idea what happened to the Lonergans - we only know that some of their equipment washed up on beaches after they disappeared.
Open Water is not a horror movie. It is not a psychological drama. It is not about interpersonal relations. It is utterly boring, the acting is wooden, the whole thing is just terrible. Two people trapped in the middle of the ocean could be a really interesting movie, but Open Water is not that movie. The main characters are whiny and annoying and the actors deliver the lines like they're reading the phone book. For some reason there is a sequel being made...I can't imagine how bad that is going to be!
After we watched Open Water, my wife insisted that I had to let her watch something good for the rest of the night. But what turned out to be on TV? Bring It On 3 just happened to be on! So I made her watch that too, and we just had an evening of really bad movies.
Okay, it is completely my fault that I watched this. The description was too good to pass up:
Considered too old for a professional ice-skating career, 16-year-old Alexis (Lynn-Holly Johnson) nonetheless triumphs to become a champion. Tragically, she falls and suffers a brain injury that leaves her nearly blind. With the help of her father (Tom Skeritt) and her boyfriend, Nick (Robby Benson), Alexis attempts, against all odds, to again become a top-ranked skater in director Donald Wry's Oscar-nominated romantic drama.
The only good thing about this movie was Lynn-Holly Johnson. Seriously. Colleen Dewhurst and Tom Skeritt were at their usual worst, and Robby Benson's character just made me want to barf. But Lynn-Holly Johnson, who is apparently a professional ice skater, is also a pretty darn fine actress. Her blindness was believable - how often does that happen?!
The story itself, frankly, sucked. If I had a dollar for every hokey minute in that movie, I'd be buying a new iPod Shuffle. It just wasn't enjoyable...a sense of glurge permeated the whole thing. (Which, again, was quite apparent in the description.)
Oh, there was one other good thing - all the funny 70's hairstyles on all the girl skaters. Ha!
Considered too old for a professional ice-skating career, 16-year-old Alexis (Lynn-Holly Johnson) nonetheless triumphs to become a champion. Tragically, she falls and suffers a brain injury that leaves her nearly blind. With the help of her father (Tom Skeritt) and her boyfriend, Nick (Robby Benson), Alexis attempts, against all odds, to again become a top-ranked skater in director Donald Wry's Oscar-nominated romantic drama.
The only good thing about this movie was Lynn-Holly Johnson. Seriously. Colleen Dewhurst and Tom Skeritt were at their usual worst, and Robby Benson's character just made me want to barf. But Lynn-Holly Johnson, who is apparently a professional ice skater, is also a pretty darn fine actress. Her blindness was believable - how often does that happen?!
The story itself, frankly, sucked. If I had a dollar for every hokey minute in that movie, I'd be buying a new iPod Shuffle. It just wasn't enjoyable...a sense of glurge permeated the whole thing. (Which, again, was quite apparent in the description.)
Oh, there was one other good thing - all the funny 70's hairstyles on all the girl skaters. Ha!
I caught Halle Berry's Catwoman at a friend's house. We had just finished watching something else and this was coming up next. We decided we would give it a few minutes, and if it sucked, we would change the channel.
Little did we realize that it would be so bad we'd end up watching the whole thing!
Seriously, this movie was just amazingly bad. Halle Berry's acting has never been more fake, I've never seen her perform so badly. This is not even the same actress that we know from X-Men, Gothika, or just about anything else she's done. It's just THAT BAD.
And the movie itself has virtually no plot. I remember glancing at the clock while we were watching, and I was amazed that we were 90 minutes into the film and it hadn't started yet! It doesn't get much worse than Catwoman. When it was in theaters I really wanted to see it but I am SO glad I didn't pay money for this.
Little did we realize that it would be so bad we'd end up watching the whole thing!
Seriously, this movie was just amazingly bad. Halle Berry's acting has never been more fake, I've never seen her perform so badly. This is not even the same actress that we know from X-Men, Gothika, or just about anything else she's done. It's just THAT BAD.
And the movie itself has virtually no plot. I remember glancing at the clock while we were watching, and I was amazed that we were 90 minutes into the film and it hadn't started yet! It doesn't get much worse than Catwoman. When it was in theaters I really wanted to see it but I am SO glad I didn't pay money for this.
A friend of mine overseas had seen The Departed and recommended it to me - I figured it won best picture, so why not? Before we left for the theater I checked out the keywords on IMDb, and I just had to laugh at this collection:
I'm trying to think "what kind of person would this movie appeal to?" I am going to go with fans of Mafia films, because it is heavy on that type of intrigue, although I'm not sure Jack Nicholson's gang can really be counted as Mafia.
- Shot To Death
- Shot In The Face
- Shot In The Chest
- Shot In The Head
- Shot In The Forehead
- Shot In The Knee
I'm trying to think "what kind of person would this movie appeal to?" I am going to go with fans of Mafia films, because it is heavy on that type of intrigue, although I'm not sure Jack Nicholson's gang can really be counted as Mafia.
Okay, so I was browsing around the TV guide, and I saw Thirteen Ghosts was about to start on the Sci-Fi Channel. I figured it would be one of their more dopey offerings, like some of the other silly stuff they show.
Holy crap, this movie scared me!
Maybe it was because I was watching it by myself, and it's nighttime, but damn. I freely admit that I was scared! It wasn't just the usual startling type of scary that you get from movies like The Blair Witch Project - there was the startling kind, but there was also the kind where it makes you wonder even when you're not watching the movie. During a commercial break I got up to go to the bathroom, which is next to the closet...and I found myself wondering if there were invisible ghosts in my closet that I couldn't see without the special glasses!
I almost went downstairs to sit with my roommates after the movie was over, but I managed to stay on my own. I'm watching My Super Sweet 16 now, which is about as unscary as it gets, at least in the horror sense.
Holy crap, this movie scared me!
Maybe it was because I was watching it by myself, and it's nighttime, but damn. I freely admit that I was scared! It wasn't just the usual startling type of scary that you get from movies like The Blair Witch Project - there was the startling kind, but there was also the kind where it makes you wonder even when you're not watching the movie. During a commercial break I got up to go to the bathroom, which is next to the closet...and I found myself wondering if there were invisible ghosts in my closet that I couldn't see without the special glasses!
I almost went downstairs to sit with my roommates after the movie was over, but I managed to stay on my own. I'm watching My Super Sweet 16 now, which is about as unscary as it gets, at least in the horror sense.
